Did you know that people pleasing isn’t the main issue going on with people pleasers?
Yes, they want to make other people happy and will behave accordingly,
however it is not the main thing.
People pleasing is generally a sign someone is struggling with self-worth issues and is commonly mistaken for kindness.
Much like other maladaptive coping skills, it develops out of a need to feel accepted and has a long history with the person. It can be hard to change only because of its severity.
7 signs you are a people pleaser:
1. Duty is driving your motivation
Duty – you have 2 choices regarding your mindset with your roles and the accompanying behavior:
1) you can willfully choose to do what you do because it is your authentic preference;
2) you can live up to your role’s expectations because you feel obligated to do so.
People pleasers tend to operate with choice #2 while trying to convince themselves they are operating under #1. To get an idea of duty in your motivation, ask yourself:
a. Is there ever a time when I quietly tell myself that I shouldn’t have let someone else persuade me to do what I really didn’t want to do?
b. Do I take on more commitments or responsibility than my schedule allows?
c. Do I do what I do for fear that others might not do it at all?