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Loneliness is a state of mind

Updated: Apr 13, 2021

Did I get your attention?

Now, before you start composing an email back to me chewing me out for this statement, hear me out.

Loneliness is horrible and boring as H3!! However, being alone does not have to mean you are lonely. Nor does being with someone mean you are not lonely.

Think about loneliness by it’s definitions: “the perception of being alone AND isolated” or “a feeling of disconnectedness or isolation.” These definitions speak about a state of mind.

Does this mean you want to be lonely?  No! But, it does mean that loneliness can be changed!

There are times when we add in alternative facts or deny the existing facts in our reality, which contribute to us “feeling” a certain way. When it comes to loneliness, let’s say we feel as though we do not have the connection we want and start thinking in negative ways about it. These thoughts can include derogatory statements about yourself like “Nobody likes to be with me” or

“Why am I . . . ?” These thoughts lead us into what I call a “$h!t spiral” and then all the negative emotions like loneliness show up.

Time to stop (or at least slow down) the spiral and the negative emotions by doing something else.

 When I searched the internet for strategies to combat loneliness, here is what I found:

  • 100 Things to Do While Trapped Inside  (I tried #13 and it gave me a headache.😄  )

  • Did you know there is a global pen pal program for free? Check it out here

  • Nextdoor is an app to connect with people in your neighborhood. Why not ask them what they are doing for fun or if the neighborhood park is